So Many Secrets
by Aeris9919
Summary: An unintentional sequel to Hoping For the Future for all my dedicated fans (if i even have any) Robin searches for the meaning behind his feelings while Nightwing searches for the one who his feelings belong too
1. Roof Top

Cat: Woot! The first chapter is up!!! For all of you who don't know, this sort of the sequel to Hoping For the Future. People kept asking for a second chapter, but I felt the story was more powerful on its own. So this story is a present to all of my dedicated readers!!! Thanks to anyone and everyone whose ever reviewed any of my writing!!! Without you I would definitely had given up by now.  
  
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TEEN TITANS!!! That being said, please don't sue me for I am a poor otaku just trying to save enough money to go to an anime con. Don't take this chance away from me!!!  
  
This story is written from Robin's point of view. Future chapters may be written from Nightwing's point of view, if so they will be marked. Enjoy the story and don't forget to REVIEW!!!!  
  
So Many Secrets  
  
A warm breeze enveloped me as I stepped out onto the roof. I strolled over to the edge, and gazed down at the water below. My favorite spot. It was late, and yet again sleep has evaded me. Usually it was Slade that kept my eyes from shutting, but tonight was different. This time it was a pair of emerald eyes that pushed sleep from my eyes. I had almost lost her today. It had only been for a minute, but it had felt like forever. A smirk crossed my face. Life was ironic like that. But the feelings I had felt today, they were haunting me. My hand drifted over my heart. I shook my head reproachfully. Impossible.  
  
"Robin?" It was her.  
  
"Hey Star. What are you doing up so late?" She glided over to me, and seated herself on the edge of the building.  
  
"I could not sleep." Her answer was simple.  
  
"Same here," I muttered. I could feel her eyes on me; I did my best to ignore them.  
  
"I wanted to thank you, Robin."  
  
"Thank me? For what?" She was smiling up at me. God that smile.  
  
"For celebrating with me!" I almost forgot about her holiday. I gave her a small smile. She turned her eyes to the stars.  
  
"I am sure that no matter what our friendship will last forever, just like you promised Robin! The future that I saw will not come true."  
  
"It was bad, huh?" I sat down next to her, my eyes grazing the horizon.  
  
"It was not what I had imagined. Except. . . . " She bit on her bottom lip, her eyes avoiding mine. I knew what she wanted to say.  
  
"Nightwing," I said, almost to myself. She heard me. She always hears me. The silence that followed was unbearable. I thought that perhaps Starfire wanted to end the conversation there, but then her voice broke through, soft and unsure.  
  
"You are very kind Robin. You are patient, and brave, and strong." A smile passed over her face as she spoke. "But that is all that I know about you. I guess it was hard for me to picture you any differently from the way you are now. That is why I was not surprised by Nightwing."  
  
I remained silent. Her fingers touched my cheek, urging me to look at her. I turned slowly, but kept my eyes pointed at the water below. Her fingers brushed softly against my skin, tracing the outline of my mask.  
  
"So many secrets."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
She had said no more to me. She pulled her hand back and went back inside, leaving me with my thoughts. Secrets. What did Starfire know of secrets? Her touch still lingered, her scent still hung in the air. The same feeling returned.  
  
"No!" I shouted out to the dark night, my fist connecting with the roof. She was just a friend, a teammate, nothing more. And then, visions from that day came flooding back to me. I knew what Star was going to do; I had seen the look of anger in her eyes. I had even tried to stop her, missing by only a mere inch or two. But even after she had returned, gone for only a minute, the fear that I had lost her did not subside.  
  
I pushed myself off the ground and headed inside. The idea of sleep a tempting one. Once in my room, I kicked off my boots and tossed my belt onto a nearby chair. The bed was warm and soft, and I was soon fast asleep, a pair of emerald eyes taunting my dreams.  
  
"I do not wish to yell, merely to understand."  
  
"Slade did not trust you, and you did not trust us."  
  
"You promised."  
  
"But that is all that I know about you."  
  
"So many secrets."  
  
I jerked from my sleep, my brow covered in sweat. Her voice haunted me throughout the night; sweet torture. I buried my head in my hands, trying to push her words away. Why do I recall what she says so easily? I didn't care about Starfire. I don't need her! I don't need anybody!  
  
"I don't need you!" My scream shattered the silence of the early morning, my fist connecting with the cold metal wall. I continued my barrage, ignoring the pain, shouting the same words again and again.  
  
"I don't need you! I don't need you! I don't!"  
  
I sunk to my knees watching a crimson puddle form, the warm liquid dripping slowly from my hand. The pain was intense but I welcomed it, a bitter distraction from the torment of my mind. I sat there a few moments longer allowing my breath to even out. The others, no doubt, heard my yelling. They'll know it's best to leave me alone for the time being, save her.  
  
"Robin?" Right on cue.  
  
"Robin, I heard you yell. Are you undamaged?" I glanced at my hand, before answering.  
  
"I'm fine Star, thanks for checking on me." She didn't say anything more. I was certain she had gone to bed until I felt her hand cover my own. How did she get in without me noticing? I was losing my edge.  
  
"Your hand." I couldn't bear to look at her; I knew what I would see in her eyes. Forgiveness. Forgiveness for lying to her about my injury. I hated that look. How many times had I gotten it before? I wasn't worthy of Starfire's forgiveness.  
  
She didn't speak as she tore the bottom of her nightshirt into strips, wrapping my hand tightly in the violet fabric. I watched intently as my blood slowly changed the soft color to a murky brown.  
  
"You should be more careful while working out, Robin." I didn't move as she stood and floated out of the room with graceful ease. The feeling returned again, stronger now. Her hands were so soft and reassuring, working to cover my wound; her scent so intoxicating, clogging all of my senses.  
  
"Maybe I do need you," I whispered looking down at my now pain free hand.  
  
TBC  
  
So whatcha think? Did it suck horribly? Please be kind whilst reviewing!!! Please Review!!! 


	2. Raging

I finally got the second chapter done! Yay! Sorry it took me so long, but I've had a nasty cold this week and my brain hasn't been functioning properly. Here it is though. It's mostly an emotion chapter, not a lot of action. Gomen ne, but I needed to get this out of the way.  
  
Disclaimer: Same rules apply! I don't own Teen Titans. . I wish I did though.  
  
So Many Secrets Chp. 2  
Raging  
  
One would look around the room of the 'great and fearless' Robin and think that perhaps he had been surprised in the night, a victim of attack or kidnapping. I let out a bitter laugh as I surveyed my room. My desk upturned, the papers once scattered across its surface now strewn about the floor, pillows torn, glass shattered glinting tauntingly up at me. No one would dare to think that in a fit of rage Robin the Boy Wonder had destroyed all of his belongings, hoping to stifle the raging emotions within himself. I sat, slumped against the wall, staring intently at my hand.  
  
No one had bothered to check in on me; I doubt the thick metal door stifled my cries of rage. They knew it best to leave me be, even Starfire had made it a point to not disturb me. A tray of food was left at my door, and though I made no move to slip in it my room, I was thankful. It was a comfort to know that she still cared. Ironically, it was that very thought that had pushed me past breaking point. Starfire cared about me. How much she cared was beyond me, but I was certain she cared. But... the others cared for me as well, did they not? Of course they did. So why were Starfire's feelings getting to me like this?  
  
Why? That very question echoed through my mind as I had lost control earlier. But for now my body was too weary to do anything, save sit here and think; something I wasn't accustomed to doing. I was most comfortable in the heat of battle, making snap decisions, saving the consequences for later. I didn't care to dwell on things. I remembered all to well what happened if I let my mind linger on certain thoughts. It was only a few months ago when my obsession with Slade was in full force. And who had it been to drag me back from the threshold? The very girl that pushes me towards it.  
  
Still I couldn't bring myself to admit if I had feelings for Starfire. I was stubborn like that. Slowly, I brought my injured hand up to my face, following the same line her fingers had traced the previous night. Suddenly, I recalled the feeling as she disappeared into the wormhole. Never had I felt more helpless in my life. It was almost as if a part of me had disappeared along with her. I had been scared. Scared damn it! I wasn't supposed to get scared. I wasn't supposed to feel at all. Ferociously, I clawed at my mask, but still I could not find the courage to pull it off. I could feel the blood trail down my face; there was no pain. I made no move to wipe away my crimson tears. What use was it?  
  
There was a knock at my door. I turned my head slightly but remained silent.  
  
"Yo Robin." I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding. I'm not sure if I was disappointed or relaxed about it being Cyborg and not Starfire knocking on my door.  
  
"Robin, you feelin okay?"  
  
I couldn't find my voice in which to answer. I merely sat there, my head tilted to the side. Cyborg must have grown impatient because he didn't call out again. The brief visit from my best friend had pushed me to wonder what time it really was. It had to be well past dark. It was times like these that I wished I had chosen a room with windows. But truthfully, I was more content to wallow in the darkness than to let the sun glimmer in. I was better off alone.  
  
"Robin!" Damn it Cyborg. I thought he'd gotten the idea.  
  
"Look man, I don't know what's goin-"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." I quickly cut him off. I wasn't in the mood for one of his lectures.  
  
"No one said you had to talk, but you're gonna listen. I don't know what's going on with you and Star, but I suggest you get over it and quick. Starfire cares about you and it's not right to put her through this."  
  
Put her through what? She's the one who started all of this with her talk of the future. Accusing me of having secrets. Of course I had secrets. Everybody does. Star probably has a few of her own. Slowly, I pushed myself up and stumbled into the bathroom. I had seen better days. With practiced ease I slipped the mask off my face, washed my face, and placed the mask back on, all without looking in the mirror once. Back in my room, I lay on my bed, my hands folded beneath my head. Soon, my world was dark with sleep.  
  
It was scary to watch the tent burn down. People fled in all directions, hoping to escape the flames deathly path. I wanted to scream. They were still in there. Why wasn't anyone going to help them? Why wasn't I going to help them? They'd come out. Mom first, a big smile on her face. Then Dad. He'd sneak up behind Mom and tickle her sides. That was his favorite game to play. Where were they? It was getting late. It was bedtime. Dad was gonna read me a story. I didn't care if it hurt! I had to help them! They were coming, any second now. They were. They were!  
  
TBC  
  
The next chapter should be up by mid March, maybe sooner. Don't forget to review. Oh, and that last part was supposed to be a dream. I was hoping I wouldn't have to point that out, but some people are a little slow. ^^''' Not that any of you are slow! Please review!!! 


	3. Run

Cat here with Chapter 3! W00t! Thanks to all the people out there who've been sticking with the series. It'd be nice to see a few more reviews, but I'm not gonna dwell on the bad. I've had a long week, and I'm tired of being sad! ^^ Small note: the first part of this chapter takes place from Nightwing's point of view right after they sent Starfire back to her time. The second part will be from Robin's point of view. Let me know if it gets confusing.  
  
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own 'em. But I do have almost every episode on tape! ^^'''  
  
So Many Secrets Chp. 3 Run  
  
Nightwing's POV  
  
And so it was. I stood there, still as stone, my eyes locked on the place she had once been. That was twice now she had been taken from me, leaving me to face this cold world alone. I couldn't bear it; I was tired of being alone. I had fought the urge to yell out as she disappeared, and still I was fighting that urge.  
  
"So, Robin..."  
  
I retreated back behind my mask.  
  
"It's Nightwing."  
  
Back to being alone.  
  
"You sure act like Robin." I ignored Raven's sour comment. It seems I was not the only one to remain the same.  
  
"Does this mean the Titans are back together?" Beastboy's comment brought us all back to the present. I turned and regarded him, trying not let out a laugh. I really did feel bad for him, but it was hard not to laugh at a 30 year-old man who looked like he was 50 and went by the name of Beastboy.  
  
"Well, I guess...it depends on what everyone else wants right?" Cyborg scratched the back of his head, searching for an answer.  
  
"There's only one thing I want." I was surprised to hear those words come out of my mouth. It seems living on my own so long has given me the awful habit of talking to myself. I'll need to work on that. Suddenly 3 pairs of eyes were on me; I did my best to ignore them.  
  
"We all want that man-"  
  
"Forget I said it! That's not what I meant." I didn't need to hear from Cyborg, not now. I began to walk away, but was intercepted by a span of dark energy.  
  
"Let me through Raven. I have other places to be."  
  
"No." Her voice was smooth and unwavering.  
  
"Keeping me here won't change anything. It won't bring her back."  
  
"Running away won't either." Raven's words cut through the razor-edged intensity that had consumed the room. I cast a glance over my shoulder, my eyes locking with hers.  
  
"I can't stop running. If I slow down, even just a little, the memories will catch up with me. If I don't run, I'll remember. I can't remember...not anymore." A silence passed across us all; I welcomed it.  
  
"Ya know, I think that's the most you've ever said to us in a normal conversation," Beastboy finally broke in, a grin across his stubby face.  
  
"I'd hardly call this a normal conversation," Raven muttered, glaring at me from under her hood, as if this whole thing was my fault.  
  
"There's one thing I don't understand."  
  
"What's that Cyborg?" Beastboy turned his attention away from the bickering birds.  
  
"Well, if we sent Starfire back to her own time...theoretically, it should be as if she never left us."  
  
He was right. It should have been like she had been with us this past 20 years. So, if that's what was supposed to happen, where was she? I tried to pull out a memory of her after she left us the first time, but my efforts were useless.  
  
"Then where is she?" Beastboy, always stating the obvious.  
  
"Perhaps, something else pushed us all apart that we can't seem to remember." All eyes turned to me after Raven's observation. Damn her.  
  
"And you're all assuming it was me?"  
  
"Do you remember anything?" Cyborg asked, taking a cautious step towards me.  
  
"No!" It was then that I noticed Raven's energy barrier had dispensed. I darted out the door, not giving a warning of my departure. I thought I had heard one of them, maybe Cyborg, call out to me. It was just my imagination.  
  
Soon, I found myself perched atop a building, my breathing heavy and ragged. I looked down, my eyes focused on nothing. Somehow, knowing that Starfire should be with me and she wasn't, was worse than her not being with me at all. Where did we go wrong? Was is something I did? My foolish pride wouldn't let me admit that in front of the others, but now was different. I was alone, something I had grown accustomed to.  
  
Suddenly, a feeling of fear closed around me. What if Starfire hadn't made it all the way back to her time? What if she was lost somewhere...alone. She couldn't handle that. Starfire needed people, people need her. She's too good to be alone. Not like me. She doesn't need to know what it feels like to be alone. I closed my eyes, and concentrated. That couldn't be it. She was fine, safe and sound. Back at home where she belonged. I was sure of it. I'm not sure how I was so sure though.  
  
"Where are you?" I whispered, turning my eyes to the cloudy night sky.  
  
Robin's POV  
  
I ignored the knock on my door as I peered at the clock from under my pillow. 9:45 read the nauseating red digits.  
  
"Robin, are feeling alright?"  
  
"Don't worry about him Star. He's just in one of his moods." Cyborg's voice boomed, as if he was trying to make me feel guilty. Well, it wasn't working...much.  
  
"But I heard him scream last night on my way back from the bathroom. What if he is injured?"  
  
"I'm sure he's fine Starfire." Their voices grew distant; they were heading down the hallway. Satisfied, I let out a yawn and rolled back over, in hopes to get a few extra minutes of sleep. No such luck. Damn my over-active brain. Starfire had heard me scream. I really hadn't meant to. But it had been so long since I've had that dream. I hated that dream. I sat up, rubbing sleep from my eyes. No sense spending the day falling into memories.  
  
I could feel the tension as I entered the kitchen. I grabbed a slice of cold pizza from the fridge, and flopped onto the couch, where Beastboy was playing one of his videogames, his eyes averting quickly when I sat down. Raven sat off in the far corner, her nose buried in a book. She, unlike Beastboy, met my gaze. I broke it, turning my attention to my pizza. Cyborg was nowhere to be found; I assumed that meant he was down in the garage. But where was Starfire? My eyes scanned the length of the living room.  
  
"She went for a walk," Raven spoke up from behind her book.  
  
"Who?" I threw out, taking a bite of my pizza.  
  
"Don't be a smart ass." I flinched as the lamp next to me shattered.  
  
"Geez, Rae! You could give us a warning!" Beastboy broke out, hiding behind a pillow. She made no sound, turning the page, eyes concentrated downward. Quickly, I swallowed the last of my pizza.  
  
"I'm going into town for a bit."  
  
"Sure you are." I ignored Raven's comment as I left the tower. It was none of her business anyway.  
  
Wow! 1,129 words. That's pretty good. So, can anyone guess what band I was listening to while writing this chapter? I'll give the person who guesses right first a Neko Cookie! =^-^= Reviews are welcomed!!!  
  
No really, review! Go on, all the cool kids are doing it! ^^ 


	4. So Beautiful

Cat: Chapter 4 is finally done! Sorry it took so long, but with SAT's, Hosa competition, and English projects, I just haven't had time. I promise to try and make the updates quicker. But I do have to say that I am very proud of this chapter. I think I captured Robin's emotions very well, especially at the end. As always, this is in Robin's POV. No Nightwing in this chapter. Maybe the next one. Enjoy the chapter and don't forget to review!  
  
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own 'em. But I got the toys! ^___^ '''  
  
So Many Secrets Chp. 4 So Beautiful  
  
I let out a yawn as I walked down the street, still not completely woken from this morning. A hand casually readjusted my baseball cap, then drifted down to my sunglasses. It felt good to get out of the 'boy wonder' costume every once and a while, and slip into something more... comfortable. Everyone got a good laugh when I tried to explain my reasoning for updating my wardrobe. I just ignored them. I was getting pretty good at that.  
  
I stopped, and turned towards the park. It wasn't that hard to spot Starfire, her red hair contrasting greatly with the park scenery behind her. She stood out no matter where she was. Or maybe that was just another one of my illusions. I watched fascinated, as she pushed a small boy in a swing, her eyes sparkling. I made my way over to a bench, pushing my hat down over my eyes, hoping she didn't recognize me. I'm not sure why I didn't want her to see me. On any other day I would have called out to her, then after talking with the boy a short while the two of us would go out for ice cream or something to that nature. I hate change.  
  
It was a beautiful day. A cliché statement, but true. The sky was a pale blue, the sun peeking out behind a few wisps of cloud. A soft breeze pushed through every now and then, carrying with it the unmistakable scent of spring. I smiled inwardly; spring was always my favorite season. One of my 'secrets', as Starfire referred to them. I swallowed the bitter taste from my mouth. So I had a few secrets. Who didn't?  
  
A line of children had appeared behind Starfire, looking pleadingly up at her for a ride on the swing. She was happy to oblige.  
  
I was still upset at myself for letting that dream get to me once again. I closed my eyes, letting the sequence run through my mind once again. I could hardly remember the pain, I could no longer hear the screams of the people around me, or even my own cries for that matter. I all I could see was the only true home I had ever known burning to the ground. In one night my family, my home, and my life were taken from me. No one knew. Bruce did, but he didn't count. He never did.  
  
"Robin?"  
  
I looked up. Damn she was good at sneaking up on me.  
  
"Hey Starfire." She sat down beside of me, grinning from ear to ear as usual. She had also chosen to venture out in street clothes, going from her purple mini skirt to a pair of jeans and a tank top. One could look at us and see a pair of normal teenagers out on a date. God, how I wish that was the truth.  
  
"Did you have fun with the kids?" The silence was getting to me.  
  
"Yes, Robin! I had much fun pushing the small humans on the swings!" She aimed her smile at me, her emerald eyes shining. I nodded in return.  
  
"And how are you this afternoon Robin?"  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Robin?" When I looked back down at her I was caught completely off guard. Something in her eyes had changed, she looked sad... no... worried.  
  
"I'm fine Starfire." I tried smiling to prove my point. She didn't buy it.  
  
"I know that it is rude to eavesdrop. You taught me that Robin. I did not mean to hear you last night, but I did. Please tell me what is wrong." It wasn't a question, nor a demand, it was a request.  
  
"It was just a dream, Star. I wasn't hurt."  
  
"You have taught me enough about earth for me to know that all pain is not physical."  
  
Damn! When did she get so smart? I handled the situation as I would any other...I avoided it.  
  
"What do you say we head back to the tower, Starfire?" And for the first time in our friendship Star refused to listen to me. She stood and glared at me rebelliously.  
  
"Star...?"  
  
"No," was her heated answer.  
  
"But Star-"  
  
"No." Again, I was cut off. And without a hint of an explanation, she turned towards the tower, pushing through the crowd. I watched helplessly for only a moment before pulling my hat further over my face and heading towards the tower myself.  
  
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Once back at the tower, I grabbed another slice of pizza and headed for the training room. I needed to blow off some steam, and it was apparent we weren't getting any calls tonight. I slipped into a pair of sweat pants, not bothering with a shirt, but did take the time to pull my mask back over my eyes. I sat on a bench wrapping my hands when the last person I expected to see that night walked in.  
  
"Hello, Robin." I blinked a few times before responding.  
  
"Hey, Star."  
  
"Robin, before you say anything please let me apologize for before." Again, I had to blink the shock away. SHE wants to apologize?  
  
"It is not my business to pry into your past and I am truly sorry." She bowed her head humbly, her red hair creating a curtain between us.  
  
For a moment all I could do was sit there. The whole scenario was too difficult to comprehend. After continually pushing and pushing her away, Starfire felt that she was the one who had to apologize. I examined the girl in front of me, as if seeing her for the first time. It was at this moment I was certain...I loved Starfire.  
  
I stood and crossed the room. Her head still bowed, I gently pushed it up with my thumb, until our eyes met. A few tears had escaped their emerald cage, and I softly brushed them aside. It took me a moment to find my voice.  
  
"You are so beautiful." Her eyes widened, and a pink hue took over her cheeks.  
  
"R-Robin..."  
  
It felt as if time had stopped. I could have stood there all night looking into her eyes. Maybe, if I could have worked up the courage, even kiss her. I didn't even have to ask her. I knew she would have stayed there until the end of time if I would too. But we didn't live in a perfect world, and at that moment the alarm decided to go off, signaling the need of the titans somewhere in city. I blew out a sigh and looked at Star helplessly. She smiled feebly and led me towards the door.  
  
"Star, I-" She placed one delicate finger over my lips, silencing me instantly.  
  
"When we get back." I nodded in agreement. We smiled at one another before heading off to join the others. And I wondered if Starfire had the same feeling of regret welling up in her gut that I did.  
  
Cat: Over 1,200 words for you guys this time! Are you satisfied? ^^ I'll try to have the next chapter up by May. But prom and exams are sneaking up on me, not to mention I have to get my animazement costume together.  
  
FOOGLESNARF!!!!!! Get your attention? Good. Now go review pweese! ^^ 


	5. From The Beginning

Cat: W00t! I got chapter 5 up before prom! ^___^ Aren't you all proud of me? Of course you are. That or you're just so fed up with waiting for the next chapter that you want to burn me at the stake. ^_^''' Well, despite a lot of computer problems these past 3 weeks, I managed to get the chapter written. I hope everyone likes it. And just so everyone knows, I don't write action scenes. I'm not good at it, I don't enjoy it, and I doubt people enjoy reading it. But I did my best with this, so I hope you guys aren't too critical. As with the previous, this chappie is in Robin's point of view.  
  
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own 'em. I also don't end a certain scene at the end that was written by Yu Watase. She's a great writer who comes up with some really great actions sequences, and I just had to borrow this one. Please don't sue me!!!  
  
So Many Secrets Chp. 5 From The Beginning  
  
A crescent glow hung low in the night sky, peeking out from behind the feather wisps of gray. Swiftly, my shadow danced as I leapt from building to building. The cool night air was refreshing as my team and I made our way across the city. I didn't bother breaking my concentration to check if they were with me; I knew they were. As we drew nearer to our destination I felt a grin tug at my lips. The adrenaline had long since kicked in and I was looking forward to the coming battle.  
  
My worry from earlier had dispersed, replaced with the common feeling of vengeance. As it is for most, I fight the good fight for one reason and one reason only: revenge. Plain and simple. My parents' murderer had been taken down long ago, back when I was still with Bruce. I couldn't explain my need to keep fighting. But somehow, stopping just one murderer wasn't enough to quench my thirst, so I keep fighting. I'm always fighting.  
  
Starfire swooped down next to me and indicated that we had arrived at the scene. As I watched Plasmus destroy the park I realized how ironically stupid life could be.  
  
"Looks like the dream team's back together again!" Cyborg commented dryly firing his power cannon straight at Cinderblock.  
  
"Think Slade's behind it?" Beastboy asked before transforming into a t- rex, heading for Plasmus.  
  
"Could be, but we can't concentrate on that right now!" I threw myself into the battle, kicking Cinderblock in the back of the head.  
  
Soon I was losing myself in the rush. I wasn't really conscious of what I was doing, as was normal with most of my battles. I kept an eye on my teammates, but for the most part I left them to their own. I was more focused on myself, making sure every move was precise, on time, perfectly in sync. Call it obsessive, call it pathetic, call it whatever you want, but that's how I operated. I smirked as Cinderblock fell to the ground uselessly.  
  
"BOO-YAH!" Cyborg yelled out, slapping me a high five.  
  
I turned and saw that Raven, Beastboy, and Starfire had also subdued Plasmus.  
  
"Glorious! We are victorious!" Starfire let out her tale-tale cry, her arms tightening around an irate looking Raven.  
  
"Something doesn't feel right..." I looked around, half-expecting Slade to jump out of the shadows.  
  
"Dude, it never feels right with you." I glared at Beastboy as I looked around.  
  
"Come on Robin. It's late and we're tired." I let out a sigh. If Raven was trying to persuade me, then I knew I had to be going over board. But I stood rigid in my place.  
  
"Yes, please Robin," I turned to regard Star, who was looking at me with a small smile, "let us return home so we may rest." I felt my resolve cracking as I nodded feebly to her.  
  
"Good job Starfire! Who knew he'd listen to you?" Beastboy waggled his eyebrows at Cyborg, and the both of them laughed. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Shut up! You two have no idea what you're talking about." They ignored my comment and continued laughing. Raven had slowed her pace and had drifted behind us, but I still heard her struggling to hold in a giggle. Were they all against me today?  
  
Starfire had skipped up ahead of the group, singing softly to herself. I watched, entranced, as her hair moved with her body, her skin glowing beneath the night sky. She was always happiest after the fighting was finished. It was one of the major differences between the two of us. I loved to fight, she loved to stop fighting. As if sensing my eyes on her, she stopped and turned to me, her eyes shining. And as I smiled at her, the over hang above her suddenly collapsed. I'm sure with her alien strength she could have easily pushed the heavy piece of ceiling off of herself, but in my one moment of fear I raced forward, covering her body with my own. Later on I would learn that it had been Cinderblock to cause the collapse.  
  
I remember a blinding pain, quickly replaced by a numbness I had never felt before. It was as if my back no longer existed. It wasn't until Starfire yelled my name fearfully that I realized my eyes were clenched shut. Somehow, I found the strength to open my eyes. Star lay beneath me, her tear rimmed eyes wide with fear.  
  
"Robin..."  
  
"I'm okay." I pushed out.  
  
"No, you are not okay! Please stop Robin! You'll be killed!" She choked over a sob, the tears now cascading down her cheeks. I couldn't answer her, my voice gone. But I felt the warm trail that fled down my cheek, and I knew instantly what it was. I tried to stop them; they only came faster. Starfire stared at me in disbelief as my tears dropped down and mingled with her own.  
  
"R-Robin..."  
  
"I love you, Starfire!" The only words I could think to say at the moment. This only succeeded in bringing more tears. Before she could reply I continued.  
  
"I should have told you from the beginning Star. You deserve to know the truth about me. I only wish I could have told you sooner."  
  
"Robin, you don't have to do this!"  
  
"Yes I do!" I ignored her protest, and carefully nudged her arm. I didn't need to say it. She knew what I wanted her to do. She tentatively reached her arms up around my head, and her delicate fingers released the mask from my face. I closed my eyes immediately, flinching at Starfire's gasp of surprise. But it was to be expected. The burn marks across my eyes were not the most attractive things in the world. Keeping my eyes closed, I explained.  
  
"My parents and I worked at a circus. We were called 'The Flying Grayson's'!" I smiled at the memory. "But one night, I had to have been about 10, there was a fire. It took everything from me and left me with this scar as a constant reminder of my pain. Bruce took me in after that, and that's when I became Robin."  
  
"Robin, I-"  
  
"It's Richard! Call me Richard!" I didn't have to open my eyes to know that she flinched at the sudden harshness in my voice.  
  
"Richard," it sounded foreign to her tongue, "please... open your eyes." And reluctantly, I did as told. I pointed the blue orbs at her for the first time, and she smiled, tears running new. She reached up and touched my cheek lightly.  
  
"Blue. Just like I pictured them."  
  
"I love you, Kory," I whispered, as if afraid someone might hear me.  
  
"I love you too, Richard Grayson."  
  
Just a small side note, the Yu Watase scene that I didn't write was the part where the building falls and Robin shields Star's body. Tamahome did the same thing for Miaka in the first volume of Fushigi Yugi. I would have told you which scene at the beginning but I didn't want to ruin the chapter for you. ^^''''  
  
That being said, how'd you like that chapter? I'm gonna try to have the next and very last installment up before the end of May!!!! SQUEE! It's almost done! The next chappie is about, yup you guessed it, Nightwing. ^^ Until next time. . . . GO REVIEW!!!!!  
  
REVIEEEEEEEEEEEEW! Sankee! ^^ 


	6. Awake

Cat: Ok, here it is. The last chapter of 'So Many Secrets'. You'll think I'm nuts when I tell you this, but I'm starting to tear up as I write this to all of you. It could be a combination of my lack of sleep and the final fantasy music I'm listening to, but I think it's something more. I started this story back in January with a little one shot about Nightwing. I thought it would stay at that, but 5 months later and it's only now that my journey is ending. I hate to let this story end, but as all authors know, nothing can last forever. I do, however, have some people I need to thank.  
  
lizzy0888 ROBINROX FantasyWriter13 Rebekah Starobin1 TribeKitten Ophelia Chinxy Batgurl101 Tamaran Girl TheUltimateNewbie Eventidespirit Kb Starbolt1218 Fire Kitsune Goddess Aka-chan2 Athena Hey Viola Killer Possesed Angel Eyes of Nevermore Angel V Lain the Fluff-Master cool cat96  
  
Those are all my loyal reviewers. Thanks to each and every one of you. It was your compliments and criticism that kept me writing. I could not have finished without you.  
  
I also owe a thanks to my friends: Arricia, Rizu, and Izzy. Arricia has pushed and nagged and badgered for me to finish, Rizu has previewed chapters for me and was a constant source of advice, and Izzy was there to sympathize when I just couldn't update on time. I love you guys! Huggles  
  
Disclaiemer: I do not own the Teen Titans. But I do own this story!!!   
  
Now what you've all been waiting for. The last chapter. It's in Nightwing's POV. (just so ya know .)  
  
So Many Secrets Ch. 6 Awake  
  
Exhausted. Mentally, physically, exhausted. I had spent a good part of the night racing from building to building, hundreds of thousands scenarios playing through my mind. It wasn't until well past midnight that I decided to head back towards home, feeling as if I had just traveled the world 50 times over. My mind was trapped in an incessant fog, and for once in my life I was having a hard time concentrating on anything. That just wasn't like me.  
  
My situation could only be described as completely and utterly fucked up. I mean, that girl's been out of my life for 20 years...right? Then she comes back, only for a moment, (at least that's how it felt), and suddenly I don't know which way is up anymore. Life wasn't making sense anymore, though I'm not going to say it ever really did. I just wanted to go home and sleep this day away.  
  
Oh, who am I kidding? It could never be home without her there.  
  
Still, the looming mansion was a comforting sight as my clouded mind pushed me towards the front door. With every step taken, memories of that horrible day seemed to be buried further beneath the fog that had encompassed my whole body. Perhaps, if I was lucky, my whole life could be wiped away, and I could start over. But I knew I could never give up the memories I had of her. As scarce as they were, each one was precious to me. Sometimes I would go days without eating, just lying in bed going over each word spoken, trying to relive each memory in my mind. If only I could draw her back to me, like a memory from my shadows.  
  
My steps echoed throughout the vast living room. I hadn't bothered to add any furniture, save one stiff looking couch, and that had been left with the house. I looked mournfully up at the stairwell, as if I were facing Mt. Everest, and not the stairs that I climbed every evening. I took one at a time, stopping every now and then in order to let my mind catch up. I was definitely having an off day. Finally, I reached the door to my room, my holy grail.  
  
Not bothering to walk the full length of the master bedroom to the bed, I settled in a large, worn-out chair. I fought to keep my eyes open, as I tried to remember if my room had always been so clean. The bed was made, the windows open letting a cool wind breeze in, a stack of clean laundry folded neatly on the bed. Did I clean this morning? I fought to remember, but everything was all jumbled. I just needed to sleep.  
  
As my eyes began to drift shut I heard the telltale creak of a door opening. My whole being tensed, my hands clenching the arms of the chair. Whoever it was, they padded softly towards me, as if their feet barely touched the ground. I didn't have time to react as a tan arm snaked around my neck, a head full of red placed against my shoulder.  
  
"How was your patrol tonight?" A sweet voice whispered into my ear; my heart skipping a beat.  
  
"S-Starfire?"  
  
She let go of my neck and came to stand in front of me, flashing me that smile that I missed so much. As I gazed at her grown figure, a silk robe hanging off her delicate shoulders, a wave of new memories came crashing down on me. This whole time...she's been with me? It seemed as if the 20 years without her was nothing but a bad dream, one that I had finally awoken from with the sight of her smile. Was it true? Was she real? I stood, shakily reaching towards her. She just smiled as I brushed my hand across her cheek, trailing down her neck, and coming to rest on her hip. Then, not able to handle it anymore, I pulled her body against my own, letting out a heavy sob.  
  
"It's ok. I'm here." She whispered into my neck. "I've always been here."  
  
And she had been. I could remember everything; from the moment we moved into this house, to our first time making love, right down to our very first kiss. And I recalled all of these moments as I pulled her in for another kiss, succumbing to the sweet taste of her lips against my own. It was like tasting heaven. After a few moments, she pulled away, smiling at me. A graceful finger traced the rim of my mask, pulling another memory from the shadows.  
  
"So many secrets, my Nightwing." Starfire spoke elegantly, reminding me of the series of events that had finally brought us together. It was a running theme in our lives now. She removed my mask, and kissed each eyelid closed. "My Robin...my Richard," she remarked coyly, as I pulled her closer to me. I leaned down, and whispered to her, as if it were a secret only for us to hear.  
  
"Would you object to me sharing one of those secrets with you tonight, my Kory?" She didn't answer, just smiled as I led her towards the bed. Suddenly, I was feeling awake. For the first time, in a long time, I was awake.  
  
That's it. The end. I hope everyone enjoyed and maybe you'll come back on a rainy day and read through it again. Bai!!! 


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